Why do we have expectations ?

Why do we have expectations? Some people have made us addicted. But I think that there is no real relationship in the world, nor is the value of feelings, only parents are true and there is no one else. No lover, no friend, no relative, no one is going to have only meaningful

Expectations are the silent architects of our lives, shaping our perceptions, motivations, and interactions. They arise from a multitude of sources—personal experiences, societal norms, cultural influences, and the innate human desire for certainty and control.


At their core, expectations serve as mental projections of desired outcomes or behaviors. They provide a framework within which we navigate our relationships, set goals, and make decisions. They act as guiding forces, offering a sense of direction and purpose in our endeavors.

One primary reason behind the formation of expectations is the human need for predictability and security. They offer a sense of structure and familiarity in an otherwise unpredictable world. By setting expectations, we attempt to mitigate uncertainty, seeking reassurance and stability in our interactions and environments.

Furthermore, expectations often stem from past experiences, both positive and negative. Our interactions and encounters shape our beliefs about how things should unfold. These experiences become the foundation upon which we build future expectations, influencing our behavior and perceptions of similar situations.

Another aspect is the societal and cultural influence on our expectations. Societal norms, familial beliefs, and cultural values shape the standards against which we measure ourselves and others. These external influences contribute to the formation of our expectations regarding relationships, success, and personal fulfillment.

However, while expectations can provide a sense of direction, they also carry the potential for disappointment and frustration. When reality diverges from our anticipated outcomes, it can lead to dissatisfaction, stress, and strained relationships. The gap between expectation and reality often generates emotional turmoil, highlighting the delicate balance between ambition and contentment.

Understanding the role of expectations in our lives is crucial. While they can motivate and guide us toward our goals, rigid or unrealistic expectations can become barriers to genuine connections and personal growth. Learning to manage expectations—being flexible, realistic, and open-minded—is essential to fostering healthier relationships and maintaining mental well-being.

In essence, expectations are an intrinsic part of the human experience, shaping our perceptions, actions, and relationships. Balancing the drive for achievement with an acceptance of life's unpredictability allows us to navigate the complexities of expectations while fostering resilience and adaptability in the face of change.

Addiction, in its traditional sense, often relates to substances or behaviors that create dependency. However, the idea of being addicted to people or relationships carries a nuanced complexity. Human connections, particularly certain individuals, can indeed evoke emotions and dependencies akin to addiction, albeit in a psychological and emotional context.

Individuals can become intertwined in our lives in ways that foster emotional dependency or reliance. This dependency might arise due to a variety of reasons—intense emotional connections, shared experiences, or a deep-seated need for validation and companionship.

Certain personalities or relationships possess an almost magnetic pull, leaving us yearning for their presence, approval, or attention. This emotional attachment can resemble addiction, as we might feel a compulsive need for their validation or companionship, experiencing emotional highs and lows akin to addiction cycles.

The dynamics of such relationships might mirror addictive patterns, creating a sense of craving and withdrawal when we're not in their presence or when the relationship undergoes turmoil. This dependency on someone else for emotional fulfillment or validation can become all-consuming, affecting our emotional well-being and decision-making processes.

Understanding these dynamics is crucial. It's essential to differentiate between healthy emotional bonds and dependencies that verge on the addictive. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and interdependence, allowing for personal growth and support without sacrificing individual autonomy.

Recognizing and addressing emotional dependencies is vital for fostering healthier relationships and personal well-being. Developing self-awareness, building self-esteem, and cultivating a diverse support network can help mitigate the potential pitfalls of emotional addiction to specific individuals.

In essence, while the concept of being addicted to people might not involve substances, it revolves around emotional and psychological dependencies. Acknowledging these dependencies and striving for healthier, balanced relationships—wherein both parties contribute positively without fostering addictive emotional ties—is crucial for maintaining emotional autonomy and well-being.

The belief that only relationships with parents hold true value compared to other connections is a perspective deeply rooted in personal experiences and beliefs. It's natural for early relationships, particularly those with parents, to wield profound influence, shaping our perceptions of love, trust, and security.

However, the assertion that relationships beyond parental bonds lack authenticity or value might stem from various factors. Past experiences, societal influences, or disappointments in other relationships can cloud the perception of meaningful connections with others.

Yet, the human experience is rich with diverse relationships that offer profound value beyond the parent-child dynamic. While parental relationships form the bedrock of emotional connections, other relationships—romantic, platonic, and familial—hold their own significance and contribute uniquely to our lives.

Romantic relationships, for instance, can offer companionship, intimacy, and a deep emotional bond that complements and enriches our lives. Friendship, characterized by mutual understanding, support, and shared experiences, provides a different yet equally meaningful connection. Meanwhile, relationships with relatives, though diverse in dynamics, often offer a sense of belonging and shared history.

Each relationship brings its own set of experiences, lessons, and emotions. They contribute to our emotional growth, offer support during challenging times, and provide a sense of community and belonging.

The perception that no relationship beyond the parental bond holds true might reflect a longing for deeper, more profound connections. It's essential to recognize that the authenticity and depth of relationships often depend on mutual understanding, communication, and shared experiences. These qualities can be cultivated in various relationships, not limited solely to parental connections.

While disappointments or conflicts in relationships can challenge our belief in their authenticity, it's important to acknowledge that every relationship is unique. They evolve, change, and require effort from both parties to maintain their depth and significance.

By embracing the diversity and complexities of human connections, we open ourselves to a world of meaningful relationships that contribute to our emotional well-being, growth, and understanding of ourselves and others. Each relationship, in its own way, holds the potential for depth, authenticity, and genuine connection beyond the boundaries of parental bonds.

Ramoon Mal

I have a vast knowledge of development, research and experience of social mobilization, project base line surveys, Woman participation in community development and Natural Resource Mobilization (NRM). As a Community development employee seeks to engage communities actively in analyzing the issues which affect their lives, and setting goals for improvement and taking action, by means of empowering and participative processes. A good deal of the work is project-based, which means that community development workers usually have a remit of a specific location or social issue and have possesses 18 years' experience.

Previous Post Next Post

Contact Form